It’s 37 degrees in Michigan. It’s also April and I’m sick of wearing winter clothes, so cut of capri length sweat pants, a long-sleeved shirt and vest with the heat blasting it is!

I remember June gloom in Pasadena, but have to admit that the December-January-February-March and now April gloom is much worse. I desperately crave for warm weather, and the sun to come out and shine on my skin like Floridians crave orange juice (they have to, right?!).

Or, maybe it’s not just a change in weather I’m craving, but a physical sign that summer is coming. With my career as a graduate student ending in six weeks, I am truly in the final stretch. Not being much of a runner myself, but this is the hardest stretch I’ve had to go through. The amount of writing I’ve done in the past three weeks has worn letters down on my keyboard (not really, I have a Mac!), and my brain bothers me for sleep every 3 hours. Seriously, I’ve written 10 pages (we’re talking single-spaced here), and I’m only 6/13 of the way finished with the PACT assignment. One 15 page (double-spaced, woo hoo!) case study, and two other minor (12-15 pages) papers due, on top of the regular weekly readings, discussions, and class time, and I’m done with school, FOREVER!

Hmm… forever… seems like I’ve said those words about school before Okay, so maybe it won’t be forever, but it will be for a very long time! I’ve got loans to pay off people! (On a side note, you can send donations to the Kathryn Morton Fund, c/o my parents house).

South Haven, sunsets, sand castles, and sleep! …And maybe a little Captain Lou’s thrown in there

Six weeks…

So much happening. I just returned from a family trip to Jamaica. It was much needed and much enjoyed! Photo album link coming soon.

I start my new internship placement at Otsego Middle School for 10 weeks (yeay!). Princess Parties. Miss Michigan Orientation- time to talk about Miss Michigan’s Princess Program! My brother is turning 21. My mother has a birthday. I have a birthday. My best friends from Chico, CA are flying in to Chicago to celebrate with my friends who live closer My brother is headed to boot camp. All of this on top of regular life! God knows my best work is done multi-tasking.

Once Upon A Princess has really been blessed this year. The new website is updated for March, please check it out at: http://princesspartymichigan.com!

Student teaching 30 hours a week, plus 3 full time grad classes and homework (not even going to mention how much time just the reading takes me), plus two nights bartending= no free time. as stressful as it is right now, (and sad to be in a relationship with such a great guy that i rarely get to see), I wouldn’t do it any other way. I focus my best when my plate is piled high.

So here’s to the new year and the light at the end of the tunnel on May 13th!

I cannot believe the first official snow of the season held of until December 1. I for one think it’s just perfect. I’ll be the first to admit that living in cold weather certainly is not ideal, but the first snow is just so pretty. And so is snow on Christmas morning. And, if it’s going to be cold, there might as well be snow

So updates:

I’d like to send a shout out to my Miss Michigan sister, Morgan (http://missthismissthat.blogspot.com/), who was just named the new Face of Four for WOTV channel 4. She has such a fabulous personality for this job, she is warm, heartfelt, and it is no wonder to me why she is consistently chosen as Miss Congeniality. Stay true to that first Morgan I met at Miss West Michigan last year Morgan, and you will go far!

I’ve started my 2nd to last semester of classes for my masters degree. Assuming all things go well, I’ll be finished and credentialed in May and looking for a teaching job! I’ll be starting my student teaching very soon at Kalamazoo Central, in drama, debate, and forensics. Should be a really fun way to be spending my days these next ten weeks for sure.

I’m still really enjoying having a “special someone” in my life! He just makes every part of life more enjoyable. And keeps me grounded. Well… as much as he can! What can I say, it’s the holidays!

Last thing to report on,

I’ve been asked to be the featured children’s entertainer for Kalamazoo’s New Year’s Fest downtown. I’ll be at the Kalamazoo Public Museum 5:30-8:00 pm reading stories, singing songs, dancing, leading activities, taking pictures and signing autographs, all dressed as a princess! I couldn’t ask for a better job

So, as I sit in front of the fire, I guess I’ll replace my banner of colorful fall leaves with a winter white landscape and call it a night!

It’s beginning to feel a lot like…

Well, about the only thing that’s missing right now is a winning season from UofM. But alas, I guess I’ll have to wait another year for that to come true.

So, seriously- it’s November already! Halloween is over and there are Christmas decorations in all the major stores. Since I am back on a school schedule, something I’m really looking forward to this holiday is having a Winter Break again! I’m going to be starting full time student teaching in four weeks (right after Turkey Day), as well as taking three full time grad classes (this is considered over full-time at USC), and trying to keep up with two part time jobs! I will definitely be sacrificing any glimmer of a social life I had until next May in order to graduate and allow myself time to find a teaching job starting in the fall (of 2011 that is). On a side note- if anyone has any leads for scholarships or grants, or leads on teaching jobs, I’d certainly appreciate an email!

So, lesson plans, grading, coffee/tea, and putting on gloves when I get into my car in the morning are soon in my future

It was in the 20′s as I drove to Portage this morning for my pre-internship, and you know what? It didn’t feel as cold to me as it did this time last year. AND- I’m actually looking forward to seeing some snow on the ground. Maybe my Michigan blood has returned after all! Of course, that doesn’t mean I want the snow to stay for long…

But one thing I do want to stay is me in Michigan. While it has taken a year to adjust (which is about the same time it took me to adjust to living in California when I first moved out there), I am fully adjusted to being back in this state. A few weeks ago, I was laying in bed and thought to myself “If someone gave you a ticket to California right now, would you take it?” and it was the first time I answered “No.” I really am happy being back here around family, taking classes I’m really interested in, and getting to know a really awesome God-centered guy. Also my brother is leaving in just under five months so I’d like to spend as much time as possible with him before he leaves, and then with my parents when he is at boot.

I worked all holiday (Halloween that is) weekend, and if you know me you know I love Halloween! So, since my boots for my planned “dead” outfit would not have lasted on my feet more than 30 minutes, a back-up had to be created. I was working at The Library so I went as a *drum roll please*: dead librarian!

Halloween is the one night (or entire weekend) a year I feel I get to put my years of a theatre degree to work!

Well, that is all for now. Off to class for me!

I’m on top of a mountain!

But it wasn’t that long ago that I was down in the what seemed to be endless valleys. I began to notice the pattern of long valleys and short mountains probably about three or four years ago, which was also the time my faith was really beginning to grow into being God-centered. In the beginning, I kept praying for help to get through the valleys so I could be on top of the mountain again. Now, when I find myself on a mountain, I often don’t know how to handle it.

Lately I’ve found myself saying things to friends like “I just don’t deserve to be up here”, “This is too good to be true”, and “I don’t ever want this feeling to end”. And then my brilliant friends remind me life isn’t about what we earn. Life and everything in it is a gift from God. Grace.

Holy cow are they right!

Specifically speaking, in the past, when it came to relationships, lets just say… I had a lot to learn and needed to grow up (this is probably still true by the way!). When I look back at the friendships and relationships I’ve formed, I’ve been pretty selfish, and demanding. That’s because I had the focus on the wrong place. I was trying to please myself and make others happy instead of putting the focus where it should always be: God first.

Naturally, this landed me in a lot of self-induced valleys. Learning to put my faith back in God piece by piece. My last relationship ended over 2 1/2 years ago, when I was 22 and fresh out of college. It was a very hard break up, especially because I had so much care and desire to see this guy reach his potential. I loved his family, his faith, and spending time with him. For a while, I wanted nothing to do with any other guy that wasn’t this guy. I constantly thought about him, dreamed about him, and prayed for him. Eventually I started making new friends, and finding guys attractive again, but it still just didn’t feel quite right. Looking back, I’d say I was trying to fill that void of having a special someone by plugging someone else who could do the job into that hole.

Then, something happened. I started to grow. I started to be able to do things and travel places on my own, and enjoy it! I started sharing those moments with God. A lot of this had to do with a book I was reading about building a one-on-one relationship with God. It sounds totally cliche, but it worked for me. I kept reading other peoples books, and even read a version of the Love Languages book for singles, learning how I receive (and give) love, and understand the love languages of people who are close to me including my parents, brother, and boys I was watching at the time.

I started to understand why my past relationships had failed.

I started to understand why I wasn’t ready to be committed to one person.

And then, I started to enjoy being exactly who I was at that time. I have a great family, amazing friends, and hopefully a pretty good career path ahead of me, so why was I focusing on one aspect of my life so intently?

And just like that, it stopped. I stopped focusing on past relationships, and desiring to be in new ones, and I learned to live in the moment, in a valley, and be happy.

Now, I am on top of a mountain, and it scares the crapola out of me! And just like that, my fears and questions were answered in my daily devotional last night by Oswald Chambers. I was afraid learning can only take place in valleys, so if I’m on a mountain does that mean I’m not learning? If I’m not learning am I going to get thrown back down into the valley? How long am I up here for? Can I please just go back to the valley cuz then I know the road is upwards, etc.

Here’s what O. Chambers has to say:

“We are not built for the mountains and the dawns and aesthetic affinities, those are for moments of inspiration, that is all. We are built for the valley, for the ordinary stuff we are in, and that is where we have to prove our mettle… The times of exaltation are exceptional, they have their meaning in our life with God. The mount is not meant to teach us anything, it is meant to make us something. The moments on the mountain tops are rare moments, and they are meant for something in God’s purpose”.

So I will shut my mouth and enjoy every moment of God’s purpose.

It has been said about finding a life partner “When you know, you just know.” Well, here I am, one month after meeting and one week of spending time with my “I just know”. Of course this is still in the early stages of us getting to know each other, and developing a deep friendship, and it’s always entirely possible that this is my “I just know” for now, and not forever. Either way, I have been learning to enjoy the moment, and I am 100% fully invested in enjoying every moment of this.

But, I also think there is more to it than a feeling or “just knowing”. For instance, I truly believe a person must be able to find happiness and acceptance within themselves. They should rely only on their relationship with God before a third person (if you will) can be added to this already strong foundation. That person must also already be completely self-dependent and co-dependent on God.

We all develop a sort of “check list” in our heads of what we are seeking after in a partner. Many people are willing to compromise on certain areas for a number of reasons: lack of patience, loneliness, an inability to trust in God, or even a lack of self-confidence and doubting that a) that person still exists and b) that I am good enough for him/her.

If you are married and reading this, then you probably understand what feelings I am talking about in the beginning of this post, taking you back in time to when you met your special someone. If you aren’t, you are probably connecting to these feelings, but in a different way. Please don’t give up hope and compromise. Take this time in your life to grow and develop who you are and build your foundation with God. Marriage is a spiritual domain, and I truly, truly believe if God is not at the center of a relationship, it’s like being on the court without enough players. Maybe that other person is still growing. Maybe you are not ready for them. Pray for yourself. Pray for your future life partner and allow yourself to come to that place where you are happy and healthy just in your own life and relationship with God. Only then can He add on top of a rock solid foundation.

Hearing them answer “Why should princesses always smile and be happy” with “Because we are each unique with special talents” brings so much joy to my heart. When I hear them say they can be a princess for God by “obeying my mom and dad”, “saying please and thank you”, and “be kind to others” lights me up inside.

Our children are our future. If they are already making connections like this at their age, what wonderful things they will be able to accomplish in their futures when they put their lives in God’s hands!

There is a movement happening right now, and we are either a part of it, or outside of it. Days like today remind me I am inside this movement.

Where are you?

“All glorious is the princess within her chamber ; her gown is interwoven with gold.” Psalm 45:13

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” ~ Walter Winchell

“A mere friend will agree with you, but a real friend will argue.” ~Russian Proverb

“Where there are friends, there is wealth.” ~ Titus Maccius Plautus

Friends. Some people have 5000, some have 5. Some are really close with one or two, while others are close with lots. I don’t know what type of friends you have, or what type of friend you are to the people in your life, but I do know that friends are a gift from God.

We benefit from those people God puts into our lives, whether for a season, or a lifetime. Some are people we only plan on being acquaintances with, but after some difficult treads uphill, they become the people we depend upon to carry our packs, or share a drink of water with. Sometimes we put so much pressure on other people to become something they were never meant to be.
I don’t think we can ever know which people that come into our lives are going to become like family, and I especially don’t think we can ever know which ones will leave us. After all, if we did know that, would we invest fully into a relationship with them, or would we more than likely hold back sharing with them who we really are deep in our core?

Some friends have left us. Some, we have chosen to leave them. We have all done it, I’m certain. Regardless of your relationship with those people now, when you look back at broken friendships, didn’t they serve a purpose in your life? I bet you won’t have to search to hard to see how you have benefited and grown from their involvement in your life at one time or another.

So- to my friends, past, present, and future: Thank You. For putting up with me, arguing with me, agreeing with me, singing, dancing, and laughing with me. Thank you for crying with me, loving me, accepting me, listening, sharing and giving me space. But most importantly, thank you for making me who I am today, and who I am becoming. Thank you for being a part of the journey. I love you and you are important to me.

Some of these people I meet smile with their eyes. Their eyes are so clear, regardless of what color they are, I can see their heart; more appropriately I can see their soul. These people I immediately connect with, and I know others do too, regardless of their story. These people embrace me within the first moment of eye-contact, and impact my heart and my soul forever. These people care about me, even though we have just met. These people make me feel so appreciated and important, that I never want to leave their presence.

These people are not living their lives for themselves. Sure, they pay the bills, buy groceries, and go out on weekends, but they are not at the center of their core. They are certainly not selfish, rather they are self-less. And, once my path has crossed with one of them, whether in a class, while running an errand, or even at a bar, my life has been slightly altered. These people are always with me, because what I’m feeling when I’m with these people is not really that person at all; it’s the Holy Spirit.

It shines from their hearts, through their eyes all the way to my heart as if to say “I am here now, and will not leave you.” And as much as I love feeling this tiny little light within me, I have learned it grows when you share it with someone else. And so the cycle begins. I open my heart, and you receive the light, and we both walk away feeling a little bit better about the world around us.

God is everywhere. And today I feel Him through the “new people” I am meeting.

“The Spirit has his own existence and personal function in the inner life of God and the economy of salvation: his task is to bring about the unity of the human race in the Body of Christ, but he also imparts to this unity a personal, and hence diversified, character.” -John Meyendorff, The Orthodox Church.